Make flying less of a nightmare with these expert tips – but be warned, stay civil...

The Flight Attendant Available to stream on Now

Ed Grenby - 30 June 2022

Not all airline cabin crew are covertly working for the CIA like Cassie Bowden in Sky Max’s hit thriller The Flight Attendant (played by Kaley Cuoco, right). But they know a lot more than how to say “Please return your seatback to its upright position” in two languages. So while Cassie’s adventures reached their climax in the series two finale recently, six real-life air stewards share their secrets with us (semi-anonymously, of course). And as the world’s most-frequent fliers, their holiday hacks are worth their baggage allowance in gold. Fasten your seatbelts...

PLAY THE SEATING GAME

“On most long-haul flights you can select your own seats when you check in online for free. What my partner and I do whenever we’re travelling together is reserve seats separated by one seat in between. No passenger ever wants to sit on their own, so these middle seats are the very last on the plane to fill up – and if it doesn’t go, my other half and I have an extra seat to spread out on. (If it does get booked, you just ask them to swap. No one ever says no because why would they want to be stuck between the two of you, talking across them?” Astrid, cabin service director, major British airline

SLEEP ON IT

“Pack a pillowcase. Sounds daft, but when you’re on the way home and your case is overflowing with holiday purchases, you can stuff the pillowcase with your bulkiest clothes – saving you room in your bag and giving you a way better night’s sleep than those flimsy little pillows we hand out in Economy.” Rob, self-described “sandwichchucker”, Britain’s other major long-haul airline

STICK TO STEERAGE

“Sit at the back, mate. The plane fills up from the front so you’ve got more chance of a spare seat next to you. And you’re much more likely to get extra drinks or blankets or whatever down there, too, because I’ll have supplied the rest of the passengers and will know what’s left over.” Sam, long-haul fleet, based at Heathrow

HANG UP YOUR PHONE

“Obviously there’s no in-flight entertainment on budget airlines, and it breaks my heart to see customers crippling their arms and shoulders trying to hold up their phones for two hours to watch a film! All you need to do is grab an extra one of those little clear polythene bags that you’re supposed to put your liquids in at Security. Pop your phone in it and hang it off the toggle that holds your seatback tray table up. So simple, so effective…” Ellie, wears a bright orange blouse to work on her low-cost airline

MOVE ON UP

“An upgrade? Don’t even bother asking. We never give them once you’re on the plane. You can try at Check-in, but unless you’re a gold or silver card-holder, you’ve got next to no chance – unless the plane is overbooked. Then you can offer to go on the next flight in exchange for a seat in Club.” Nisha, purser, big British airline

SAY NO TO THE TEA...

“Always complain! If something isn’t right – your seatback telly, for instance – be sure to mention it or you can’t get compensation later. If you’ve pointed something out to us nicely, there’s a good chance we’ll try to make it up to you with extra miniatures or whatnot, along with the complaint form that will get you a voucher for a future flight. Don’t take your frustration out on us, though: we’ll make sure the trolley bumps your seat every single time we pass…” Annie-May, senior cabin crew, charter airline

INTERVIEWS BY ED GRENBY