On his Travel Man trips to European cities, host Joe Lycett enjoys left-field fun and food
Travel Man: 24 Hours in… Friday 8.30pm C4
Ed Grenby - 11 January 2023
"Well I don’t suppose I’ll be doing Travel Man in Qatar any time soon,” says Joe Lycett, referencing his “£10,000- shredding” stunt at the start of the recent World Cup. (He threatened to destroy the cash in protest against the country’s homophobic laws and David Beckham’s lucrative Qatari ambassadorial role, unless the former footballer withdrew from it.) “It doesn’t matter though,” continues the Birmingham-born comic, who is now host of Channel 4’s travel show. “I’ll find somewhere else, because I’m happy anywhere. My normal holiday is just lying down and having fruit put into my mouth. In fact, I could have a great time in Birmingham – just replace the tropical fruit with a balti and I’ll be fine.” That may be for a future series, though. This time, Lycett has been dispatched to four of Europe’s quirkier corners – and here he shares his take on each…
Vilnius
PORRIDGE (AND BEETROOT SOUP)
“The highlight here was the prison. I know that sounds weird, but there’s this old jail, Lukiskes that you can wander round. You get a real sense of how grim it must have been, and I found it quite scary – perhaps because for some reason I’ve always felt like I will end up going to prison at some point. But I’m a huge Bad Girls fan, and I could pretend I was in that, so it wasn’t all grim. And there was a lovely little bar there, where they do cocktails, so my guest Sarah Millican was happy, which was important because she wasn’t impressed with the Lithuanian cold beetroot soup we’d had earlier. A little secret for you: Sarah took one spoonful of that for the camera then abandoned the rest.”
Dublin
SNAIL SARNIES & HEADS OF BEER
“More weird food here, I’m afraid. We went to this amazing café, called Assassination Custard, where this husband-and-wife duo do these extraordinary, unusual dishes you wouldn’t expect in a little sandwich shop, like snail sarnies and stuff like that. They’re prepared in what looks like a tiny little fry-up café, and it’s all delicious. “We also went to the Guinness Storehouse and we did this thing where they take a photo of you and use this special printer that puts it on top of the beer pump, so you can pour yourself a pint with your face imprinted in that creamy top. It’s really fun to drink your own head, though my therapist would probably have something to say about it.”
Salzburg
STRUDEL ON THE MOVE
“In Salzburg we had a horse-and-carriage tour of the city, eating three different courses from three different restaurants, as we went along. There was one point where we were on quite a busy street, and it felt a little like we were dining on the M6, but the food – schnitzel and strudel, of course – was delicious. “And then there were the Mozartkugel, or ‘Mozart-balls’. They’re these little round traditional chocolate sweets that you can only get in Salzburg, and I love them so much I brought loads and loads of them home, smuggling them in past customs, saying they were presents for friends and family.”
Marseille
SCULPTURE AND SKATEBOARDING
“Marseille is a such a brilliant city, very creative and with so much going on. My guest Asim Chaudhry and I tried to tap into it by having a skateboard lesson at this abandoned tobacco factory that’s now a sort of hipster hub… but it went badly. Our teacher was so charismatic and handsome and tender – I’ve forgotten his name, but that’s how I roll; it’s brutal, the love life of Joe Lycett – but we perhaps needed someone a bit stricter, as we just ended up rolling around on our bellies on our skateboards. “Then there was the ‘Tunnel of 1,000 Signs’ – which is a road through a hill but with art on the walls and ceiling, a bit like a gallery inside the Blackwall Tunnel – and the Underwater Museum. Here they’ve submerged these fantastic sculptures, but be sure to go on a nice day. When we went the visibility was terrible, and Asim’s not an enthusiastic swimmer so he stayed on the surface where it was impossible to see anything. I dived down, but cut my finger on a sculpture, then banged my head on something as I came back up. So I’m bleeding and have a bashed-up head, while Asim’s cold and frightened. And that’s why they normally put museums on land.”
"Well I don’t suppose I’ll be doing Travel Man in Qatar any time soon,” says Joe Lycett, referencing his “£10,000- shredding” stunt at the start of the recent World Cup. (He threatened to destroy the cash in protest against the country’s homophobic laws and David Beckham’s lucrative Qatari ambassadorial role, unless the former footballer withdrew from it.) “It doesn’t matter though,” continues the Birmingham-born comic, who is now host of Channel 4’s travel show. “I’ll find somewhere else, because I’m happy anywhere. My normal holiday is just lying down and having fruit put into my mouth. In fact, I could have a great time in Birmingham – just replace the tropical fruit with a balti and I’ll be fine.” That may be for a future series, though. This time, Lycett has been dispatched to four of Europe’s quirkier corners – and here he shares his take on each…
Vilnius
PORRIDGE (AND BEETROOT SOUP)
“The highlight here was the prison. I know that sounds weird, but there’s this old jail, Lukiskes that you can wander round. You get a real sense of how grim it must have been, and I found it quite scary – perhaps because for some reason I’ve always felt like I will end up going to prison at some point. But I’m a huge Bad Girls fan, and I could pretend I was in that, so it wasn’t all grim. And there was a lovely little bar there, where they do cocktails, so my guest Sarah Millican was happy, which was important because she wasn’t impressed with the Lithuanian cold beetroot soup we’d had earlier. A little secret for you: Sarah took one spoonful of that for the camera then abandoned the rest.”
Dublin
SNAIL SARNIES & HEADS OF BEER
“More weird food here, I’m afraid. We went to this amazing café, called Assassination Custard, where this husband-and-wife duo do these extraordinary, unusual dishes you wouldn’t expect in a little sandwich shop, like snail sarnies and stuff like that. They’re prepared in what looks like a tiny little fry-up café, and it’s all delicious. “We also went to the Guinness Storehouse and we did this thing where they take a photo of you and use this special printer that puts it on top of the beer pump, so you can pour yourself a pint with your face imprinted in that creamy top. It’s really fun to drink your own head, though my therapist would probably have something to say about it.”
Salzburg
STRUDEL ON THE MOVE
“In Salzburg we had a horse-and-carriage tour of the city, eating three different courses from three different restaurants, as we went along. There was one point where we were on quite a busy street, and it felt a little like we were dining on the M6, but the food – schnitzel and strudel, of course – was delicious. “And then there were the Mozartkugel, or ‘Mozart-balls’. They’re these little round traditional chocolate sweets that you can only get in Salzburg, and I love them so much I brought loads and loads of them home, smuggling them in past customs, saying they were presents for friends and family.”
Marseille
SCULPTURE AND SKATEBOARDING
“Marseille is a such a brilliant city, very creative and with so much going on. My guest Asim Chaudhry and I tried to tap into it by having a skateboard lesson at this abandoned tobacco factory that’s now a sort of hipster hub… but it went badly. Our teacher was so charismatic and handsome and tender – I’ve forgotten his name, but that’s how I roll; it’s brutal, the love life of Joe Lycett – but we perhaps needed someone a bit stricter, as we just ended up rolling around on our bellies on our skateboards. “Then there was the ‘Tunnel of 1,000 Signs’ – which is a road through a hill but with art on the walls and ceiling, a bit like a gallery inside the Blackwall Tunnel – and the Underwater Museum. Here they’ve submerged these fantastic sculptures, but be sure to go on a nice day. When we went the visibility was terrible, and Asim’s not an enthusiastic swimmer so he stayed on the surface where it was impossible to see anything. I dived down, but cut my finger on a sculpture, then banged my head on something as I came back up. So I’m bleeding and have a bashed-up head, while Asim’s cold and frightened. And that’s why they normally put museums on land.”
Ed Grenby