Rory Bremner is not only quizzing spooks for his new podcast, he’s embarking on a brand-new comedy mission at sea…

 

“I’ve just done a podcast where I interviewed Jonna Mendez, who held that role at the CIA during the Bush administration,” explains Bremner. “And as an impressionist, who has spent his life pretending to be other people, I realised she and I shared a few experiences. But if I get things wrong with an impersonation, I might get a bad review. For Jonna and her team, it was life or death.” In fact it was often the latter. One of the more chilling moments in Bremner’s new podcast The Spying Game, made in association with New York’s Spyscape Museum, with the aim of separating fact from fiction, is the discussion of the CIA’s suicide pills. “They would hide them in the top of a fountain pen or something,” he explains. “And if the operation went wrong, the agent bit into his pen and he’d be dead before he even hit the ground. I was like, ‘Wow, that’s amazing!’ – but Jonna said soberly that she didn’t really like to talk about it because, if that happened, it meant the mission had failed and…” He doesn’t need to go on. 

 

 

Other guests in the podcast series, each episode of which pairs an espionage writer with a real-life spook to be interrogated by Bremner, include Jed Mercurio (Line of Duty, Bodyguard), Simon Kinberg (Mr and Mrs Smith), Ben Macintyre (Operation Mincemeat) and Joe Weisberg (The Americans) – as well as former agents from Russia’s FSB, the US Secret Service and Canada’s Security Intelligence Service. Subjects covered include how messages can be hidden in dead rats, and such little-known but key intelligence roles as the “wallet-sniffer”. Bremner insists (tongue lodged securely in cheek) that his involvement came after he was “recruited by a gentleman in St James’s Park”, though he’s clearly in earnest when he talks of the world’s collective enthusiasm for tales of espionage. “We all love secrets,” he says. “We’ve seen too much – especially now, tragically, in Ukraine – of the trenches and tanks and bricks and buildings. But we love what Ben Macintyre calls ‘the hidden war’ of human intelligence. And the real-life stories are every bit as compelling and fascinating as the ones that writers make up.” Bremner's next mission, meanwhile, is a maritime one.

 

 

Later this month, he’ll be boarding the Enchanted Princess as one of the attractions on a special “Comedy Stars” cruise sailing around Scandinavia (see panel, right). It’s the first time he’s done anything like this, he tells us, so is he nervous? “If I was, I wouldn’t admit it,” he says. “I once told a fellow performer I was nervous before a Royal Variety Performance, and they said, ‘Don’t worry, just go out there and be yourself.’ Which is about the worst advice you can give an impressionist.” Besides, he points out, “It’s a captive audience. My only competition will be the buffet.” Fellow comics Ardal O’Hanlon, Lucy Porter and the Comedy Store Players are also on board, but they won’t be going head-to-head as their performances will be staggered.

 

 

 (“It’s like a floating festival,” explains Bremner. “A comedy festival, though, not Glastonbury.”) That’s just as well, because Bremner suffers from “a pre-emptive cringe” when he’s on the bill with fellow comedians, he says. “I think the other guys are fantastic, so I worry that they might think I’m not funny at all. It’s my imposter syndrome kicking in. Which is also not a great thing for an impressionist…” Passengers on the Comedy Stars cruise can be confident of a good show, nevertheless. “I’ll be doing a bit of stand-up, and a bit of an ‘Evening with…’ sort of thing, where I’ ll be interviewed and the audience can ask questions. So there’ll be some topical stuff.” He slips into a note-perfect Boris Johnson voice: “Are you ready to PARTY? Are you ready to pay the fine?” “There’ll be some old friends, as well [an equally uncannily accurate Donald Trump]: ‘This is Oslo. Which of course I built in the 18th century. Tremendous success.’ And I’ll get to tell some stories, too, and take oddly specific questions from the audience. They always try to throw weird ones at me, like, ‘What do you think that John Motson would say to Jacob Rees-Mogg if they were in the loo together?’ Which is great, because it means that every show is unique.” He’s not expecting to get off lightly either. “It’s going to be a really engaged, animated, interested crowd, asking tough questions.” And if the questions are too tough? “Well if I’m not up to the challenge, maybe we can bring in some of that spy-style life-or death stuff after all. Maybe comedy needs that. They can march me overboard if I’m not funny.” 

 

ED GRENBY

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Comedy Stars Themed Cruise